I’m a mess.
I don’t always look it on the outside because I take care to be (what I consider anyway) presentable, and as God has gifted me with joy (with some fear of man mixed in) I’m usually smiling. But just like everyone else, I’m a bundle of sin, insecurities and failings all held by the grace of God and lovingly tended by His kindness and mercy.
In His amazing grace, He has created good works for me to do and so I bumble around trying to do them and He sovereignly attends and supernaturally intervenes by His Spirit to accomplish all He wants to in each situation. He redeems my mess and makes my life profitable for His glory as He conforms me to His image.
I’m noticing lately (again) that the mess around me is what God is using to make me notice the mess within me! He has taught me this lesson before, but once again it feels like a new revelation.
My garage is the most recent example of this. I perpetually go in to get this or that and am overwhelmed by the project that I want to soon undertake as I attempt to organize myself. (I organize my mess hopefully at least once a year. Then slowly the mess reassembles itself.)
Last week went into the garage as I felt the Lord prompting me to. Why? I had no idea but I THOUGHT that maybe the garage project was coming sooner than I had anticipated. Once I got into the garage, my conversation with the Lord went something like this:
Me: “What Lord?”
Him: “What do you see Lucy?”
Me: (I didn’t need to look around that hard to know what to say.) “A mess”
Him: ”This is a representation of your life, even the life of all my children”
Me: “But Lord some people are so organized and their garage/house is perfect!”
Him: “You are all a work in progress. Everyone is gifted differently. Some people are skilled in being organized in ways that present themselves better than others, but the point is that you all are in process and everyone’s mess presents differently. To Me, you all look like this.
Me: “Lord I hate being a mess. It’s embarrassing to be a mess.”
Him: “You are thinking in terms of what man sees, but I’m not put off by what is messy Lucy. I see the mess and it doesn’t change or alter My love, or My faithfulness or My heart to bless you. Keep giving Me the mess that you are and I will shine My glory from your life. You’re the one always asking to see a miracle! 😉 (The Lord’s funny sometimes)
Him: “Now see those things in that corner? Throw them away and vacuum there.”
Me: “But Lord that doesn’t even put a dent in the garage!”
Him: “But your faith to obey and do the thing I ask (that makes little sense to you), will accomplish what I desire and your garage will be different as a result of your faith and obedience. Let me decide what matters. I love you and I see everything clearly.”
So I obeyed.
The Lord and I are closer because of our honest and intimate conversation. I am more assured of His love and motivated to obedience in the (seemingly) small and weird things. My obedience blessed His heart. He blessed me with His perspective which is always spot on. The change in my garage wasn’t significant, but the change in me is.